The Colors of Music

Bloomington Journal, March 26, 2010


After days of wandering in the real world, here I am again, in the IU Herman Wells Main Library, writing this journal to ease the loads my mind has been bearing. The dark sky and a can of mass-produced lemon tea keep me company tonight. How I miss the taste of real lemon tea. But that is not what I wish to discuss right now.

Once again my mind search through the mist of music. As if collecting sands on the beach, the search for music will never end. I realized this as soon as I dedicated my self in this search. I am sure although the number of truth needed to be uncover is infinite, my work will not go in vain.

Today I want to share one aspects of music that I've been using for years. The color of music. We musician always understand when said "give a different color" in a particular part of music. But how we did it, it is as well a mistery as why the earth is round. Of course we are able to do it but we cannot tell others HOW to do it. Not that we don't want to but we really literally can't because we don't know ourselves. Many approach has been made for this matter although non of them provide a general solution that fits everybody. It appears that the task of giving colour to music is a very subjective one. One cannot do it properly unless one finds out the most fitting way for oneself. Another magic of music.

I, myself, have a particular way to give colours to music. In my case, I see the colours itself in every sound. Imagine a glass of pure transparent water. When a sound is produced, imagine a dip of ink dripping into it and spreading allover. It's the exact same thing. Imagine your whole blood transport system as the pure transparent water. When the ink touches the water and spread, you can feel the gland in the back of your neck (I can't particularly remember the scientific name for this gland) shoots out an amount of hormone throughout your blood transport system and you can feel a thrilling sensation comming afterwards. Another way to put it is like painting. You're given an empty canvas and how would you paint it with music. The problem now is to differ from note to note, chord to chord, even phrase to phrase.

This is where imagination and fantasy plays it's greatest part. Apparently, my perspective of the note's colour are as the following :
C = yellow or gold
D = blue
E = green
F = brown (from dark to some particular level of bright brown)
G = black
A = red
B = azzure or skyish blue
C-sharp = black (particularly in the higher register)
D-flat = dark blue (particularly in the lower register)
E-flat = darker green than E
F-sharp = brighter brown
A-flat = maroon red
B-flat = blue as a sea
This only apply in the case of one note being produced. When a chord is build up and a phrase is constructed, I see an entirely different colour depending on how my feeling react to the music. Afterall music is all about feelings and sensation.

After knowing what I see, I'd need to imagine them. Of course I have to know what colour am I in at the moment and what is it that I intend to change into. The more I practice this idea, the bolder the colour, the faster it can change, and the easier to pull out the tingling sensation of this colouring with music. As if I were traveling through the barrier of human being and in a split second, I, as human being, can feel the presemce of afterlife without dying, be it heaven or hell or even a world God only knows about.

This is as far as I go today. I hope this concpt isn't to abstract to understand. As I say before, this is MY approach and everyone has their own approach to it. Best of luck if this can be useful to any musician in the world. Once again I shall went back to the real world where dreams are only as good as gold and fantasies are nothing but a mad people's amusement.

Stream Of Inspiration

Bloomington Journal, March 22, 2010

Here and yet again, I'm awake at the time where most people are sleeping. With the company of a dripping raindrop outside my window my mind once again wander to the realm of deep music. Trying to uncover its mystery as always.

Today I spent more time writing music than practicing it. Brainstorming for new ideas and putting it all together. It is indeed interesting and fun. I realize that there is this "source" of idea that never die in me. This is what some say the "divine inspiration" or "God inspire the artist". I wish not to discuss about what it is called whatsoever. What I was thinking is this : How did this thing come to me? Since when did this unstoppable river of ideas run in me?

I believe that my fellow musician do have this "river" in different forms in their minds. But what about everybody else? Do they have this river of idea as well? Or do they not? This has been intriguing me for some times for as far as I remember I never have any attempt to obtain this river of ideas and I don't know as well since when this river has been running inside me so I was thinking that this kind of river is in every human being in this world. But why do some people have shown better performance in creative works than others? Why do some people have better ideas than others (the term better is of course very subjective but we will assume the general assumption of this term) ? In my years of music training I saw a lot of great ideas pouring into great music as well as people depressing over their so called "failed" creation. Is it only the matter of opening the dam and letting the river flow? Or is it true that only some gifted few people have this river?
Another question arise : Is music a gift or is it not? Can it be obtained by pure hardwork?

So many things appear in my mind today. Although I might not find the answer immediately I will make sure to search for them in the near future. Farewell for today my faithful reader. I will now lead my mind towards the realm of dream and magic.

Miscellaneous Journal On My Earlier Days in Bloomington

I just realize that I DO write some diary last year as a form of my loneliness. Eventhough I didn't go on due to my extremely busy schedule but I'll try to do so periodically from now on.
This is some of what I wrote in my Spring 2009 days.

Bloomington Journal, Februry 22, 2009
Never thought that I'd write this kind of thing before. Many things happen today. I find a little light of peace in my heart in the darkness that have surrounded me for months.
I keep thinking and thinking. What is music? What is the true form and the core of music? Many great musician have yet the answer to this question. I think if one can find the answer to this question, one will become a great musician second to none other. I hope to explore this matter deeper.
I miss Indonesia. My friends--Y-boys and girls, youth GKBJ, Ipsun XII IPA, and my teachers, Kak Vera and Pa Jo. I miss the stage and the sound of the crowd cheering for me, the warm applause. 73 days to go!!!~ cant wait!!~


Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
I practice the b-flat minor Chopin sonata today. I start to feel my fingers are failing me. Is it just my temporary concern or my finger really IS degrading?
I was thinking that I've been reaching different opposite poles of music (Y-boys n composition style vs. classical performance style). I've been stretching myself so far and I feel it's starting to get to the stress point just as a rubber stretch beyond its limit. I can only do the best and hope for the best.


Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
Regarding to my question days before, I think I just found one of the uncountable important components in music. I found out that music is not just what I do in front of my instrument or what notes I wrote on the staff paper. It is what we do every second in our life. It's how we live our life. I wish to dive even deeper into this philosophy. Someday when every pieces of this puzzle are completed I'm sure to see an entirely different world. It's gonna be a whole life work but it'll be worth it for I'm trying to solve the greatest mystery in the world.
I really really miss performing with Y-boys. The moment when the crowd went wild cheering for us after our performance. Loking forward to work with the best talents in Indonesia and kak Vera this summer. 70 days to go!!!

Wind and Fire

I was born with a mark,
a mark of hatred
Curse bestowed upon my birth
curse of wrath
Everyday I swim in the sea of hatred
I fly through the scorching flame of wrath

Oh no,
I shall never fall into despair
gloom fear my wrath
misery flee after my thorn
Instead, I fight back
pridefully showing those accursed people,
what I'm capable of
even without them in my life

Oh, another mark
Oh, another curse
Mark of lust
Lust of pride and glory
All for the sake of hatred and wrath

After all,
hatred is my mentor
anger is my brother
wrath is my soulmate

Oh dear God,
I pleaded to Thee
just this once
keep me as a wind
dancing full of love
Don't turn me into fire
scorching with wrath.