Dear readers,
It is quite unorthodox for me to start an article by addressing other people. But given occasion I would like to think that it is the best way to start for this one is not on me.
'Tis been a journey. Looking back 23 years of my life, it sure has been quite a journey. An adventure through many obstacles, impossibles, and most important of all, love and joy. All of these carve me and through the events past time, I transform into the new me.
As far as I can remember,I started out a happy and careless boy. A talkative one which cares nothing about ambition and just live life day by day with joy as any other little boy would. I would talk out loud about my thoughts to my friends and parents purely. I remembered waiting in the porch for them to come home from work and when they do I would run towards them enthusiastically, hug and cuddle with them. My family provides me with everything I ever needed and wanted. I've also met the bunch of my closest friends-even until now-in this time. Through this time, I learned about love, joy, happiness in the purest state. Life is but a fairy tale for me. A life every little boy could ever dreamt of.
Life sure does have its way with people. All of these, shattered away by the revolt movement the crisis that surge Indonesia. I was about 7 years old by then. Although never said, somehow I could understand that the family business have been going through hell. We moved out to USA. I lost everything of my precious life there. I stayed home everyday, had no chance to make friends because of the culture shock, and of course the financial stress that pressed my family went through me as well. I, who always said my mind and what I want loudly, would restrain from doing so. I, who would go out and play everyday, had a high self-esteem and confidence, meet with friends, talk with anybody, smile with joy, turned quiet and self-reserved. Some might say I turn uncommunicative. Life taught me about hardship, obstacle, and complexity. I learned that life is not a fairy tale which always ends in a happily ever after for everyone.
One and a half year away, my beloved Indonesia has turn back to tranquillity. We went back home. I was about 9 at the time. I was so excited, hoping I could pick up where I left off. Well things does not went as well as I wanted. The lessons I've learned through the last 15 months carve deeply. I went to a new school without knowing how it was to make friends in the new cultural regime. It's as if I've been sleeping for a long time then wake up to find the world an entirely different one. I left Indonesia a naive little boy and came back with a scar. Surely some of my very best friends welcomed me warmly and we are still best friends until today. Full credits goes to the "Seven Godfathers" of GKBJ Samanhudi, in which I may see the light of life shining in the so cruel world of mine at the time. We played, laughed, smiled, shared, hugged, as if we are truly brothers and sisters. I would say this is the purest of all friendship in my life. I, who has turned uncommunicative would be so persuaded to open my heart and trust deeply in them. The problem is, not every one in my life are so persuasive. I do understand that it is entirely my fault for being uncommunicative and perhaps a bit to paranoid towards other's opinion, not to mention my low self esteem and confidence at the time. I had no friends aside from my fellow six. Grade 4-6 of my elementary school was hell. I hated school so much. I felt so lonely despite it being the most crowded place in my life. My junior high years were no different. I kept my friendship only with these six.
As any other teenagers, love sure does come into life for me. A girl appeared that has made my brains turn dead for nearly 8 years onwards. Well by then it was not the most pressing matter. At these time of my life, I also met with the bunch that I would call brothers and a teacher so influential in my life I would call mom even until now. All my regards to Kenan, Erik, and Kak Vera. Along this period of my life I learned on how hard it is to make friends-and by friends I meant true friends-so I would need to cherish them. As I was growing apart from my parents, I also started learning to live independently. Once again I have been transform.
High school. One of the best years of every boy's life. Well, unfortunately not mine. I started to understand my passion in life. This started out as a rivalry in the music school I attended. Well it is an elite class and rivalry and competitive edge is the most effective method to boost our level. With my half hearted approach to music surely I loss on our first event. But me, given the pride for payback and the grace of my teacher to take me in intensive training although I loss, drive myself to be better than him. He would create something marvelous on day one and I would try to overcome him in the next meeting, and he does so, and so on. All along the competitive side, I realized how much I love doing this. Thanks to my friend and rival, Adit for bringing in the sharp edge in our rivalry.
Chasing dreams as an artist, particularly a musician, is a gamble on life. It's not the most steady life at all and you never know the standards of success. It's not something a common people would understand but I know that I have and will pursue my dreams even if it cost me my own life. These cause me a lot of quarrel with my family. Apparently they did not favor the fact of having a son in the entertainment industry. They even cut me access financially in my music education. Fortunately, one of my teacher would take me in. She would pass on her knowledge to me wholeheartedly without asking anything in return. I drive myself to a commitment that I will live a life as a musician, not as anything else. Finally efforts of unwavering heart and hard work starts paying off. My family give in. I changed school to a much more accesible school and a closer one to home. It is to save time on studies and travel so that I have more time to honed my music skills.
Well, this is where I'll be leaving you for now. I started out planning to finish it all in one post but as things goes, I realized it was way to long so part two will come shortly afterwards.
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