Miscellaneous Journal On My Earlier Days in Bloomington

I just realize that I DO write some diary last year as a form of my loneliness. Eventhough I didn't go on due to my extremely busy schedule but I'll try to do so periodically from now on.
This is some of what I wrote in my Spring 2009 days.

Bloomington Journal, Februry 22, 2009
Never thought that I'd write this kind of thing before. Many things happen today. I find a little light of peace in my heart in the darkness that have surrounded me for months.
I keep thinking and thinking. What is music? What is the true form and the core of music? Many great musician have yet the answer to this question. I think if one can find the answer to this question, one will become a great musician second to none other. I hope to explore this matter deeper.
I miss Indonesia. My friends--Y-boys and girls, youth GKBJ, Ipsun XII IPA, and my teachers, Kak Vera and Pa Jo. I miss the stage and the sound of the crowd cheering for me, the warm applause. 73 days to go!!!~ cant wait!!~


Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
I practice the b-flat minor Chopin sonata today. I start to feel my fingers are failing me. Is it just my temporary concern or my finger really IS degrading?
I was thinking that I've been reaching different opposite poles of music (Y-boys n composition style vs. classical performance style). I've been stretching myself so far and I feel it's starting to get to the stress point just as a rubber stretch beyond its limit. I can only do the best and hope for the best.


Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
Regarding to my question days before, I think I just found one of the uncountable important components in music. I found out that music is not just what I do in front of my instrument or what notes I wrote on the staff paper. It is what we do every second in our life. It's how we live our life. I wish to dive even deeper into this philosophy. Someday when every pieces of this puzzle are completed I'm sure to see an entirely different world. It's gonna be a whole life work but it'll be worth it for I'm trying to solve the greatest mystery in the world.
I really really miss performing with Y-boys. The moment when the crowd went wild cheering for us after our performance. Loking forward to work with the best talents in Indonesia and kak Vera this summer. 70 days to go!!!