Dear readers,
It is quite unorthodox for me to start an article by addressing other people. But given occasion I would like to think that it is the best way to start for this one is not on me.
'Tis been a journey. Looking back 23 years of my life, it sure has been quite a journey. An adventure through many obstacles, impossibles, and most important of all, love and joy. All of these carve me and through the events past time, I transform into the new me.
As far as I can remember,I started out a happy and careless boy. A talkative one which cares nothing about ambition and just live life day by day with joy as any other little boy would. I would talk out loud about my thoughts to my friends and parents purely. I remembered waiting in the porch for them to come home from work and when they do I would run towards them enthusiastically, hug and cuddle with them. My family provides me with everything I ever needed and wanted. I've also met the bunch of my closest friends-even until now-in this time. Through this time, I learned about love, joy, happiness in the purest state. Life is but a fairy tale for me. A life every little boy could ever dreamt of.
Life sure does have its way with people. All of these, shattered away by the revolt movement the crisis that surge Indonesia. I was about 7 years old by then. Although never said, somehow I could understand that the family business have been going through hell. We moved out to USA. I lost everything of my precious life there. I stayed home everyday, had no chance to make friends because of the culture shock, and of course the financial stress that pressed my family went through me as well. I, who always said my mind and what I want loudly, would restrain from doing so. I, who would go out and play everyday, had a high self-esteem and confidence, meet with friends, talk with anybody, smile with joy, turned quiet and self-reserved. Some might say I turn uncommunicative. Life taught me about hardship, obstacle, and complexity. I learned that life is not a fairy tale which always ends in a happily ever after for everyone.
One and a half year away, my beloved Indonesia has turn back to tranquillity. We went back home. I was about 9 at the time. I was so excited, hoping I could pick up where I left off. Well things does not went as well as I wanted. The lessons I've learned through the last 15 months carve deeply. I went to a new school without knowing how it was to make friends in the new cultural regime. It's as if I've been sleeping for a long time then wake up to find the world an entirely different one. I left Indonesia a naive little boy and came back with a scar. Surely some of my very best friends welcomed me warmly and we are still best friends until today. Full credits goes to the "Seven Godfathers" of GKBJ Samanhudi, in which I may see the light of life shining in the so cruel world of mine at the time. We played, laughed, smiled, shared, hugged, as if we are truly brothers and sisters. I would say this is the purest of all friendship in my life. I, who has turned uncommunicative would be so persuaded to open my heart and trust deeply in them. The problem is, not every one in my life are so persuasive. I do understand that it is entirely my fault for being uncommunicative and perhaps a bit to paranoid towards other's opinion, not to mention my low self esteem and confidence at the time. I had no friends aside from my fellow six. Grade 4-6 of my elementary school was hell. I hated school so much. I felt so lonely despite it being the most crowded place in my life. My junior high years were no different. I kept my friendship only with these six.
As any other teenagers, love sure does come into life for me. A girl appeared that has made my brains turn dead for nearly 8 years onwards. Well by then it was not the most pressing matter. At these time of my life, I also met with the bunch that I would call brothers and a teacher so influential in my life I would call mom even until now. All my regards to Kenan, Erik, and Kak Vera. Along this period of my life I learned on how hard it is to make friends-and by friends I meant true friends-so I would need to cherish them. As I was growing apart from my parents, I also started learning to live independently. Once again I have been transform.
High school. One of the best years of every boy's life. Well, unfortunately not mine. I started to understand my passion in life. This started out as a rivalry in the music school I attended. Well it is an elite class and rivalry and competitive edge is the most effective method to boost our level. With my half hearted approach to music surely I loss on our first event. But me, given the pride for payback and the grace of my teacher to take me in intensive training although I loss, drive myself to be better than him. He would create something marvelous on day one and I would try to overcome him in the next meeting, and he does so, and so on. All along the competitive side, I realized how much I love doing this. Thanks to my friend and rival, Adit for bringing in the sharp edge in our rivalry.
Chasing dreams as an artist, particularly a musician, is a gamble on life. It's not the most steady life at all and you never know the standards of success. It's not something a common people would understand but I know that I have and will pursue my dreams even if it cost me my own life. These cause me a lot of quarrel with my family. Apparently they did not favor the fact of having a son in the entertainment industry. They even cut me access financially in my music education. Fortunately, one of my teacher would take me in. She would pass on her knowledge to me wholeheartedly without asking anything in return. I drive myself to a commitment that I will live a life as a musician, not as anything else. Finally efforts of unwavering heart and hard work starts paying off. My family give in. I changed school to a much more accesible school and a closer one to home. It is to save time on studies and travel so that I have more time to honed my music skills.
Well, this is where I'll be leaving you for now. I started out planning to finish it all in one post but as things goes, I realized it was way to long so part two will come shortly afterwards.
Showing posts with label Intellegencia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Intellegencia. Show all posts
January 4, 2013
April 10, 2011
Piano Concerto in c minor, "Dies Irae"
This is is one of my largest original piece. It is composed in 2007-2008. This concerto is premiered on August 2, 2008 in "A Piano Chronicle" concert. Performed by me, Andreas, as soloist and conductor from the piano, accompanied by Young Boys and Yamaha Girls as the digital electronic orchestra and choir. The performance was held in Yamaha Music Center Concert Hall, Jakarta, Indonesia. The 350 capacity concert hall was occupied by more than 500 audience as the young audiences were standing and sitting on the floor in the aisle to watch the performance. The 25 minutes-long piece is supposed to be performed on July 31, 2010 but due some circumstances the concert was postponed.
Here is the program notes that I wrote on this piece.
Here is the program notes that I wrote on this piece.
Piano Concerto in c minor, “Dies Irae” (2007-2008)
“Dies Irae” means “Day of Wrath” in which represented in the "End Of Time:. This piano concerto mirrors the chaotic atmosphere on the judgment day. As can be heard the army of hell marching onto the earth to collect the damned souls, the scorching hellfire that burn everything standing in their way, and cries of fear and despair of the accursed souls are projected through the ironically lamenting melody in the middle section. How they are trembling of what awaits them as their price of a depraved life. The dramatic atmosphere--fear of hell’s wrath--is spread through the entire piece. Although there are still victorious cheers from the redeemed souls for their battle on the earth is over and they have triumph over hell. Cheer of salvation.
The gigantic size of the orchestra magnitudes a very strong atmosphere. Not to mention the unusual use of choir in a piano concerto to thicken the “haunting” atmosphere. The incredibly long cadenza indicates the heavy loads the soloist holds. Designed solely for the purpose of showing off the pianist musically and technically, Andreas creates the orchestra accompaniment as supportive as possible, enabling the pianist to explore much more virtuoso figures. The pianist is required a great amount of imagination and mental strength to produce an atmosphere of such magnitude along with the stamina and energy needed to master the technical difficulties and produce a very strong sound to keep up with the large sound of the orchestra and choir accompaniment.
March 26, 2011
A Little Insight On Indonesia's Show Business
Jakarta Journal, December 3, 2010
So, here and back again, me, with a jar of cold water alongside Beethoven and Dvorak. Supposed to be "Bloomington Journal" but due to some circumstances I have to prolong my stay in Indonesia so be it. I am supposed to have published this article 3 or 4 months ago but the circumstances is not right at the moment.
Having a taste of the world of show business and entertainment these past few months. Made me realizes lots of things. Well not that I haven't had a taste of it before but, lets just say it, this one's the real professional cut-throat show biz. And to add more catastrophe to it, it's in Indonesia. A country where "everything" is possible--in a ridiculous way. Trust me, it's an apocalypse here.
First of all, as we can see, there's not that much to it for professional show biz in here. Tons of what I'd say "unprofessional". Too many people who does not deserve their place. Too many people without the ability, skill, and education in their fields. But like I said, apocalypse. I have been staying in US for 2 years and although I'm only a mere student, I experienced professionalism in every bit of things. Example, choir rehearsal in the conservatory. The appointed time was 2.30 pm. Derives that the first note sung on 2.30. The first baton was raised 2 seconds before 2.30. The beginning speech was spoken 5 minutes to 2.30. Every choir and orchestra member was on spot 15 minutes to 2.30. The lead conductor was there 25 minutes before 2.30. The officials are there 35 minutes before and they prepared all the seating arrangements along with the bench and the scores. On the concert date, every sound engineer, lighting man, stage manager, even I'm pretty sure the usher knows every note sung and played. How could it not be a great show? With everyone knowing everything to do their job at the most quality. Need to remind you that this is NOT even the real professional world. This is still an on campus activity. Can you imagine how would the real professionals work there? Well, think of Vegas and Broadway. No wonder we, Indonesian, couldn't have catch up with their show industry.
Second thing, people here hate critics so much. They think that those who can't do their jobs could never understand. In a way the are right but at the very least all human has a general sense of things and these sense is what applies to the critics given. I think they should know what other people as an audience said about their job. In US, with all those professionalism, they are very open to critics. Even they take it as blessings. It means tomorrow they will do better. I think this is what lacking in Indonesia's show biz people. We always think critics are given by bad people, trying to take us down. That happens but not all the time obviously. How can a retarded show biz catch up if it won't learn a thing??
Well this is just a reflection on the country's performing arts condition. A heads up on what's going on here. I will strive to do my best to change things although as you know I am nothing but a mere human with big dreams. I dream a country so mighty it will lead the world's performing art industry. I dream Indonesia.
So, here and back again, me, with a jar of cold water alongside Beethoven and Dvorak. Supposed to be "Bloomington Journal" but due to some circumstances I have to prolong my stay in Indonesia so be it. I am supposed to have published this article 3 or 4 months ago but the circumstances is not right at the moment.
Having a taste of the world of show business and entertainment these past few months. Made me realizes lots of things. Well not that I haven't had a taste of it before but, lets just say it, this one's the real professional cut-throat show biz. And to add more catastrophe to it, it's in Indonesia. A country where "everything" is possible--in a ridiculous way. Trust me, it's an apocalypse here.
First of all, as we can see, there's not that much to it for professional show biz in here. Tons of what I'd say "unprofessional". Too many people who does not deserve their place. Too many people without the ability, skill, and education in their fields. But like I said, apocalypse. I have been staying in US for 2 years and although I'm only a mere student, I experienced professionalism in every bit of things. Example, choir rehearsal in the conservatory. The appointed time was 2.30 pm. Derives that the first note sung on 2.30. The first baton was raised 2 seconds before 2.30. The beginning speech was spoken 5 minutes to 2.30. Every choir and orchestra member was on spot 15 minutes to 2.30. The lead conductor was there 25 minutes before 2.30. The officials are there 35 minutes before and they prepared all the seating arrangements along with the bench and the scores. On the concert date, every sound engineer, lighting man, stage manager, even I'm pretty sure the usher knows every note sung and played. How could it not be a great show? With everyone knowing everything to do their job at the most quality. Need to remind you that this is NOT even the real professional world. This is still an on campus activity. Can you imagine how would the real professionals work there? Well, think of Vegas and Broadway. No wonder we, Indonesian, couldn't have catch up with their show industry.
Second thing, people here hate critics so much. They think that those who can't do their jobs could never understand. In a way the are right but at the very least all human has a general sense of things and these sense is what applies to the critics given. I think they should know what other people as an audience said about their job. In US, with all those professionalism, they are very open to critics. Even they take it as blessings. It means tomorrow they will do better. I think this is what lacking in Indonesia's show biz people. We always think critics are given by bad people, trying to take us down. That happens but not all the time obviously. How can a retarded show biz catch up if it won't learn a thing??
Well this is just a reflection on the country's performing arts condition. A heads up on what's going on here. I will strive to do my best to change things although as you know I am nothing but a mere human with big dreams. I dream a country so mighty it will lead the world's performing art industry. I dream Indonesia.
March 26, 2010
The Colors of Music
Bloomington Journal, March 26, 2010
After days of wandering in the real world, here I am again, in the IU Herman Wells Main Library, writing this journal to ease the loads my mind has been bearing. The dark sky and a can of mass-produced lemon tea keep me company tonight. How I miss the taste of real lemon tea. But that is not what I wish to discuss right now.
Once again my mind search through the mist of music. As if collecting sands on the beach, the search for music will never end. I realized this as soon as I dedicated my self in this search. I am sure although the number of truth needed to be uncover is infinite, my work will not go in vain.
Today I want to share one aspects of music that I've been using for years. The color of music. We musician always understand when said "give a different color" in a particular part of music. But how we did it, it is as well a mistery as why the earth is round. Of course we are able to do it but we cannot tell others HOW to do it. Not that we don't want to but we really literally can't because we don't know ourselves. Many approach has been made for this matter although non of them provide a general solution that fits everybody. It appears that the task of giving colour to music is a very subjective one. One cannot do it properly unless one finds out the most fitting way for oneself. Another magic of music.
I, myself, have a particular way to give colours to music. In my case, I see the colours itself in every sound. Imagine a glass of pure transparent water. When a sound is produced, imagine a dip of ink dripping into it and spreading allover. It's the exact same thing. Imagine your whole blood transport system as the pure transparent water. When the ink touches the water and spread, you can feel the gland in the back of your neck (I can't particularly remember the scientific name for this gland) shoots out an amount of hormone throughout your blood transport system and you can feel a thrilling sensation comming afterwards. Another way to put it is like painting. You're given an empty canvas and how would you paint it with music. The problem now is to differ from note to note, chord to chord, even phrase to phrase.
This is where imagination and fantasy plays it's greatest part. Apparently, my perspective of the note's colour are as the following :
C = yellow or gold
D = blue
E = green
F = brown (from dark to some particular level of bright brown)
G = black
A = red
B = azzure or skyish blue
C-sharp = black (particularly in the higher register)
D-flat = dark blue (particularly in the lower register)
E-flat = darker green than E
F-sharp = brighter brown
A-flat = maroon red
B-flat = blue as a sea
This only apply in the case of one note being produced. When a chord is build up and a phrase is constructed, I see an entirely different colour depending on how my feeling react to the music. Afterall music is all about feelings and sensation.
After knowing what I see, I'd need to imagine them. Of course I have to know what colour am I in at the moment and what is it that I intend to change into. The more I practice this idea, the bolder the colour, the faster it can change, and the easier to pull out the tingling sensation of this colouring with music. As if I were traveling through the barrier of human being and in a split second, I, as human being, can feel the presemce of afterlife without dying, be it heaven or hell or even a world God only knows about.
This is as far as I go today. I hope this concpt isn't to abstract to understand. As I say before, this is MY approach and everyone has their own approach to it. Best of luck if this can be useful to any musician in the world. Once again I shall went back to the real world where dreams are only as good as gold and fantasies are nothing but a mad people's amusement.
After days of wandering in the real world, here I am again, in the IU Herman Wells Main Library, writing this journal to ease the loads my mind has been bearing. The dark sky and a can of mass-produced lemon tea keep me company tonight. How I miss the taste of real lemon tea. But that is not what I wish to discuss right now.
Once again my mind search through the mist of music. As if collecting sands on the beach, the search for music will never end. I realized this as soon as I dedicated my self in this search. I am sure although the number of truth needed to be uncover is infinite, my work will not go in vain.
Today I want to share one aspects of music that I've been using for years. The color of music. We musician always understand when said "give a different color" in a particular part of music. But how we did it, it is as well a mistery as why the earth is round. Of course we are able to do it but we cannot tell others HOW to do it. Not that we don't want to but we really literally can't because we don't know ourselves. Many approach has been made for this matter although non of them provide a general solution that fits everybody. It appears that the task of giving colour to music is a very subjective one. One cannot do it properly unless one finds out the most fitting way for oneself. Another magic of music.
I, myself, have a particular way to give colours to music. In my case, I see the colours itself in every sound. Imagine a glass of pure transparent water. When a sound is produced, imagine a dip of ink dripping into it and spreading allover. It's the exact same thing. Imagine your whole blood transport system as the pure transparent water. When the ink touches the water and spread, you can feel the gland in the back of your neck (I can't particularly remember the scientific name for this gland) shoots out an amount of hormone throughout your blood transport system and you can feel a thrilling sensation comming afterwards. Another way to put it is like painting. You're given an empty canvas and how would you paint it with music. The problem now is to differ from note to note, chord to chord, even phrase to phrase.
This is where imagination and fantasy plays it's greatest part. Apparently, my perspective of the note's colour are as the following :
C = yellow or gold
D = blue
E = green
F = brown (from dark to some particular level of bright brown)
G = black
A = red
B = azzure or skyish blue
C-sharp = black (particularly in the higher register)
D-flat = dark blue (particularly in the lower register)
E-flat = darker green than E
F-sharp = brighter brown
A-flat = maroon red
B-flat = blue as a sea
This only apply in the case of one note being produced. When a chord is build up and a phrase is constructed, I see an entirely different colour depending on how my feeling react to the music. Afterall music is all about feelings and sensation.
After knowing what I see, I'd need to imagine them. Of course I have to know what colour am I in at the moment and what is it that I intend to change into. The more I practice this idea, the bolder the colour, the faster it can change, and the easier to pull out the tingling sensation of this colouring with music. As if I were traveling through the barrier of human being and in a split second, I, as human being, can feel the presemce of afterlife without dying, be it heaven or hell or even a world God only knows about.
This is as far as I go today. I hope this concpt isn't to abstract to understand. As I say before, this is MY approach and everyone has their own approach to it. Best of luck if this can be useful to any musician in the world. Once again I shall went back to the real world where dreams are only as good as gold and fantasies are nothing but a mad people's amusement.
March 22, 2010
Stream Of Inspiration
Bloomington Journal, March 22, 2010
Here and yet again, I'm awake at the time where most people are sleeping. With the company of a dripping raindrop outside my window my mind once again wander to the realm of deep music. Trying to uncover its mystery as always.
Today I spent more time writing music than practicing it. Brainstorming for new ideas and putting it all together. It is indeed interesting and fun. I realize that there is this "source" of idea that never die in me. This is what some say the "divine inspiration" or "God inspire the artist". I wish not to discuss about what it is called whatsoever. What I was thinking is this : How did this thing come to me? Since when did this unstoppable river of ideas run in me?
I believe that my fellow musician do have this "river" in different forms in their minds. But what about everybody else? Do they have this river of idea as well? Or do they not? This has been intriguing me for some times for as far as I remember I never have any attempt to obtain this river of ideas and I don't know as well since when this river has been running inside me so I was thinking that this kind of river is in every human being in this world. But why do some people have shown better performance in creative works than others? Why do some people have better ideas than others (the term better is of course very subjective but we will assume the general assumption of this term) ? In my years of music training I saw a lot of great ideas pouring into great music as well as people depressing over their so called "failed" creation. Is it only the matter of opening the dam and letting the river flow? Or is it true that only some gifted few people have this river?
Another question arise : Is music a gift or is it not? Can it be obtained by pure hardwork?
So many things appear in my mind today. Although I might not find the answer immediately I will make sure to search for them in the near future. Farewell for today my faithful reader. I will now lead my mind towards the realm of dream and magic.
Here and yet again, I'm awake at the time where most people are sleeping. With the company of a dripping raindrop outside my window my mind once again wander to the realm of deep music. Trying to uncover its mystery as always.
Today I spent more time writing music than practicing it. Brainstorming for new ideas and putting it all together. It is indeed interesting and fun. I realize that there is this "source" of idea that never die in me. This is what some say the "divine inspiration" or "God inspire the artist". I wish not to discuss about what it is called whatsoever. What I was thinking is this : How did this thing come to me? Since when did this unstoppable river of ideas run in me?
I believe that my fellow musician do have this "river" in different forms in their minds. But what about everybody else? Do they have this river of idea as well? Or do they not? This has been intriguing me for some times for as far as I remember I never have any attempt to obtain this river of ideas and I don't know as well since when this river has been running inside me so I was thinking that this kind of river is in every human being in this world. But why do some people have shown better performance in creative works than others? Why do some people have better ideas than others (the term better is of course very subjective but we will assume the general assumption of this term) ? In my years of music training I saw a lot of great ideas pouring into great music as well as people depressing over their so called "failed" creation. Is it only the matter of opening the dam and letting the river flow? Or is it true that only some gifted few people have this river?
Another question arise : Is music a gift or is it not? Can it be obtained by pure hardwork?
So many things appear in my mind today. Although I might not find the answer immediately I will make sure to search for them in the near future. Farewell for today my faithful reader. I will now lead my mind towards the realm of dream and magic.
March 20, 2010
Miscellaneous Journal On My Earlier Days in Bloomington
I just realize that I DO write some diary last year as a form of my loneliness. Eventhough I didn't go on due to my extremely busy schedule but I'll try to do so periodically from now on.
This is some of what I wrote in my Spring 2009 days.
Bloomington Journal, Februry 22, 2009
Never thought that I'd write this kind of thing before. Many things happen today. I find a little light of peace in my heart in the darkness that have surrounded me for months.
I keep thinking and thinking. What is music? What is the true form and the core of music? Many great musician have yet the answer to this question. I think if one can find the answer to this question, one will become a great musician second to none other. I hope to explore this matter deeper.
I miss Indonesia. My friends--Y-boys and girls, youth GKBJ, Ipsun XII IPA, and my teachers, Kak Vera and Pa Jo. I miss the stage and the sound of the crowd cheering for me, the warm applause. 73 days to go!!!~ cant wait!!~
Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
I practice the b-flat minor Chopin sonata today. I start to feel my fingers are failing me. Is it just my temporary concern or my finger really IS degrading?
I was thinking that I've been reaching different opposite poles of music (Y-boys n composition style vs. classical performance style). I've been stretching myself so far and I feel it's starting to get to the stress point just as a rubber stretch beyond its limit. I can only do the best and hope for the best.
Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
Regarding to my question days before, I think I just found one of the uncountable important components in music. I found out that music is not just what I do in front of my instrument or what notes I wrote on the staff paper. It is what we do every second in our life. It's how we live our life. I wish to dive even deeper into this philosophy. Someday when every pieces of this puzzle are completed I'm sure to see an entirely different world. It's gonna be a whole life work but it'll be worth it for I'm trying to solve the greatest mystery in the world.
I really really miss performing with Y-boys. The moment when the crowd went wild cheering for us after our performance. Loking forward to work with the best talents in Indonesia and kak Vera this summer. 70 days to go!!!
This is some of what I wrote in my Spring 2009 days.
Bloomington Journal, Februry 22, 2009
Never thought that I'd write this kind of thing before. Many things happen today. I find a little light of peace in my heart in the darkness that have surrounded me for months.
I keep thinking and thinking. What is music? What is the true form and the core of music? Many great musician have yet the answer to this question. I think if one can find the answer to this question, one will become a great musician second to none other. I hope to explore this matter deeper.
I miss Indonesia. My friends--Y-boys and girls, youth GKBJ, Ipsun XII IPA, and my teachers, Kak Vera and Pa Jo. I miss the stage and the sound of the crowd cheering for me, the warm applause. 73 days to go!!!~ cant wait!!~
Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
I practice the b-flat minor Chopin sonata today. I start to feel my fingers are failing me. Is it just my temporary concern or my finger really IS degrading?
I was thinking that I've been reaching different opposite poles of music (Y-boys n composition style vs. classical performance style). I've been stretching myself so far and I feel it's starting to get to the stress point just as a rubber stretch beyond its limit. I can only do the best and hope for the best.
Bloomington Journal, February 24, 2009
Regarding to my question days before, I think I just found one of the uncountable important components in music. I found out that music is not just what I do in front of my instrument or what notes I wrote on the staff paper. It is what we do every second in our life. It's how we live our life. I wish to dive even deeper into this philosophy. Someday when every pieces of this puzzle are completed I'm sure to see an entirely different world. It's gonna be a whole life work but it'll be worth it for I'm trying to solve the greatest mystery in the world.
I really really miss performing with Y-boys. The moment when the crowd went wild cheering for us after our performance. Loking forward to work with the best talents in Indonesia and kak Vera this summer. 70 days to go!!!
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